I have had this line from Bob Marley running through my head for two weeks.  It forces me to breathe.  It shields me from my need to interject, interrupt, overcorrect, overreact, impose, and intrude.  It forces me to not sweat the small stuff–at least not in front of them. It gives my nearly grown children the space to figure it out…without me.

I have worked with young people since I was barely out of my teens.  I volunteered in and then led multiple youth groups for decades.  Afterwards, I became a teacher.  And while all that was going on, I have been parenting for nearly 20 years. 

But, my little birds are starting to flee the nest – 2 down, 1 to go. I feel like all the experiences I have had and continue to have have taught me so much, but the simplest truths seem to be the hardest lessons.

My two oldest daughters are now in college.  They are amazing and I have no reason to doubt their decision making–the big stuff and the day to day choices.  And yet, I still want them to call as soon as they arrive on campus after leaving home.  I still want to remind them to eat their veggies.  I still wake up in a panic sensing that bedrooms are empty and I have to remind myself why.  

Ultimately, what I worry about most is whether or not I did and am continuing to do my job as their parent.  Each week they experience something new and I realize that I didn’t teach them that lesson.  Granted, they handled whatever it was well, but did we just get lucky?  

I’m in a season where I am painfully aware of my shortcomings as a parent.  Knowing what I know now, I’d like a few more years with them at home to teach and reteach, to talk and rehash. But, they are reaching for their independence. Parenting never really ends, but a big chapter is closing and I can’t turn back the pages. But, my poor third child is probably about to be grossly over-parented.

In all my years of working with all kinds of young people, it is incredibly rare that one doesn’t turn out alright.  I have learned that even the ones that everybody thinks aren’t going to “make much of themselves” or “will never amount to anything” actually do. It may take some longer than others.  Paths diverge, but eventually come back.  

My experience proves that every little thing will be alright.  However, in the throes of parenting we can sometimes feel hopeless, lost, frustrated, and lonely. I will use this blog to share stories (with my family’s permission) of how I’ve experimented with parenting theories and techniques. I’ll reveal which ones work and don’t work for my family and why.  I recognize that what works for one may not work for others.  I’ll admit to my many mistakes, especially the funny ones. We’ll just keep growing together. Don’t worry about a thing.